We made an all girls bike club and named it "The Sugar Gliders", but the whole time we were cruising around the trails, I couldn't remember that name, so I called us "The Sugar Babies" instead.
It was so fun.
It's fun because Roxanne is pro level, and I badly want to ride with her, but I'm newbie level.
So The Sugar Babies is my loop hole.
For some reason the girls ducked when I took this picture of us.
It made me irrationally angry. I can't handle middle school insecurities. But handle them, I must.
We traded bikes for a lap and - big surprise - my bike (Jim's old bike) is too big for me.
Speaking of being irrationally angry: I am in a mom funk. Mom Funk is a constant ebb and flo, and we are in a flo.
I was looking at way old blog posts, specifically the one where I ordered caterpillars and we watched them turn into butterflies. That was back when I was gung ho about motherhood. It was way back when the children were so young they didn't even recognize my efforts as being gung ho.
Actually I was probably struggling just as much, in different ways.
Did I get irrationally ANNOYED at my kids back then? Because I do now.
When they walk in and get right in Koda's face and she doesn't like it because she's tired and sick of being smothered...I get annoyed.
When they yell "mommy!" every two seconds I get annoyed.
When Avery drills me about how far the drive to the youth activity tomorrow is because she's afraid she'll get car sick if the drive is too long, I get annoyed.
When today at the hay bales one child was saying bad words to make the big kids laugh, and my other child was yelling "do it again!" and my other child was screaming at them both to stop, I get annoyed.
I wonder how much of this is covid fall out.
We usually spend more time away from each other. At sports. At school.
The doorbell just rang, and I stared at the door. I didn't move a muscle. Just stared at the door, then realized I can look at my ring app to see if I really need to get up from this comfy couch to answer that door. It was Gus, so I hollered for Evan to "come get the door, it's Gus."
This here is the 2020's.
Anyway. Sometimes I look at a picture of myself and think: yikes I am looking so old.
But then a few years pass and in that same picture I realize how fresh face I was, and I can't believe I used to look so young.
Is this making sense?
So that above picture of me and Roxanne on the bridge: I'm going to appreciate how young I am in it.
I don't know, what am I saying here?
It's just been a lot of "covid one year anniversary" memories popping up everywhere and it's making me think about how hard it is to not wish away the boring/uncomfortable/hard time you are in.
Down the road more hard and lovely times await, but the only difference is you will have more wrinkles and aching hips. Right now is the time to embrace the Mom Funk and all the good and weird that comes with it.
I loved this
Brain Pickings from the other day. Here is one of the quotes I love. It has a little to do with what I'm trying to say here.
Motherhood is cyclical. Sometimes it's summering, and sometimes it's wintering.
"We are in the habit of imagining our lives to be linear, a long march from birth to death in which we mass our powers, only to surrender them again, all the while slowly losing our youthful beauty. This is a brutal untruth. Life meanders like a path through the woods. We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall from us, revealing our bare bones. Given time, they grow again."
The other day Jim flew through a flock of birds.
7 birds died. No humans died.
They had just taken off from Bellingham and there was a series of loud
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANGS!
So they turned around and landed (which is more intense than it sounds).
They inspected the airplane and there was no damage, just some feathers in the engine blade, guts on the windscreen.
This weekend was so fun and full.
We visited our little friends out in the wild where they slept for a few nights.
Andrew had a sleepover. Dinner inside a restaurant, kids and bikes and dogs at Galbraith, making us late to Joe's own birthday party. All the good stuff that makes me wonder what in the world I have to complain about?
Well, I'll tell you: At Galbraith, Hunter said he won the bet!
and I said what was the bet?
and he said "I bet the Larsens would fight".
So yeah, that was when I told myself never to take my kids in public ever again.
Yesterday at BP Das found a snake to play with.
Andrew loved holding it until it started licking its creepy tongue on his arm, then he hurried and handed it back.
It is just now looking at these snake pictures that I realize IT'S SPRING!
Of course it's spring. Spring is the time of year I ALWAYS get into a mom funk. It is the time of year I always think I don't know what I'm doing with my children (besides failing!)
It is a definite pattern, which means this funk will ebb soon!
For example (note to self): Andrew said in his prayer tonight "help us not fight at bookmobile".
And another thing I just remembered that was a negative turned positive:
While Andrew was at the Blacks for his sleepover, we were all hanging around outside, on the horse trails, climbing down the porch. Remember how scattered and frat party it was?
Well Andrew had big expectations of this "sleepover" - what it would look like and be like. The reality was different. Their neighbor friend, Aiden was also playing at the house.
Andrew came out to me pouting, close to tears. Having NO patience for this kind of behavior, I told him sternly: "we will march home right now if you act like that."
and he yelled back at me: "I'M JUST JEALOUS, OK?!"
and then he ran off.
He had yucky feelings (jealousy is the worst!!), and I love that he was able to identify them and admit them.
So then the damage control: I apologized for getting mad at him and we made a plan for how to deal with those yucky feelings.
So: I bet you the Larsens will fight,
and I bet the Larsens will also get along
and I bet the Larsens are going to be just fine.
