The amount of itching those stupid invisible bug bites inflicted made me CRAZY.
Morning of day 5 I went to the market and got this anti itch stuff and bug spray and kept both near me at all times.
The bugs only ate me and Roxanne we are so special.
For our last full day, us gals wanted to literally lay around and relax and itch our bug bites while the boys went golfing.
There were vultures and iguanas and geese on the golf course.
We did a workout in the weight room, ate a lovely slow breakfast.
We all three ended up in my room at some point and laid around chatting for a while. Roxanne wanted to see what the upgraded rooms look like.
We were standing on my balcony and commenting on the red flag that was flying off to the right of the bay. We discussed what it could mean. It was right over a little "creek" that flowed into the ocean. We had theories that the creek was actually sewage water? or brown water draining out of the laundry room?
So not totally seriously we said maybe that red flag was to alert swimmers about the sewage water draining into the ocean - don't swim too close to that.
We made our way down to the pool,
we had lots of iquana sightings, and the hawk guy was keeping our food safe around the pool area.
We eventually wandered down to swim/touch the ocean.
The waves were kind of big, but not really anything wild. I dove into the waves and floated around, then rode some wave up to the shore.
There was a biggish wave coming in, and I saw TWO STING RAYS swimming in the wave wall!
I yelled at Roxanne and Lisa on the shore "hey cool there are sting rays!" and a wave tumbled me around and around.
I put my head up and caught my breath as another big wave took me and spun me around and around. Catch my breath quickly because here comes another big one! and WHAM it really took me and beat me up. My swim suit came half off and I got a bit scared. I pushed further back out to sea away from the wave break to fix myself - get the sand out of my suit and situate it back on my body properly.
I looked at the beach for Lisa and Roxanne to see if they saw how much of a rag doll I just was? Did they know the ride I just took? I don't know, but I need to get out of this water, it's too rough.
So I rode a safe sized wave back into shore and runnn from the surf before it takes me back in.
I try to act non-challant. Like hey that ocean sure is fun.
But they saw what just happened. They said the hotel guys in the hut near the beach were also watching and had the walky talky about to radio the life guard. Another Mexican man selling stuff said to them "your friend too much tequila?"
"no she's just loco!"
So yeah, turns out the red flags were flying to warn about dangerous surf. I swear I did not notice the other red flag that delineated the part of the ocean that I entered. I would not have gone in if I had realized those red flags were NOT WARNING ABOUT SEWAGE.
But also, I have been tossed around in waves like that many times in California oceans. So I knew I just had to take a breath and hold on until the wave was done with me. I wasn't in THAT much danger.
Lisa and Roxanne said it looked very scary. Roxanne kept repeating "she's a strong swimmer, she's a strong swimmer".
It's fine, everything is fine.
We went back to the pool area. I got in and did my best to continue to get the sand out of all the swim suit places.
These two older ladies swim up to me and Lisa and say "we were eating at the snack bar and saw you get tossed around by those waves. Didn't you see the red flags?"
haha so while they made fun of me I did my best to defend myself.
"I thought the red flag meant watch for sewage" and then they really let me have it
"so you thought red flag meant sewage and you still got in!??"
Leave me alone.
So ANYWAY. Those nice old ladies also told us about how great the massages are down on the beach. There are so many massage ladies begging you to come lay on their table. Only 30dollars each! For a full hour!
So we decided that is what our next relaxing activity should be.
First we had to rassel up some cash (the boys were the ones who had the pesos, and they were off golfing), first to Lisa's room to find her 20, then to my room where I found a 100 dollar bill American in Jim's stash.
That will cover us all, plus tip!
We walked past the 5 other massage places to get to this perfect one and had the best hour long massage of my life. MUI BIEN
In true Mexican style, the whole time laying there we had the sound of the ocean and the sound of men doing some construction on the other side of the building.
Luxury and jack hammers.
When the hour was over, my sweet little masseuse lady put the towel over my eyes and whispered:
"finish!"
The boys got back from golf, we pooled around for a while longer, then got cleaned up for some dinner.
Hey did I ever tell you why we all came to Mexico together?
Because it is Lisa's 40th birthday!
Remember when I turned 40 and she planned the funnest birthday night ever? And the whole month when she was planning it with Jim and Joe and other friends I kept telling her, you are so nice, but please don't make me plan your 40th. I would make it the most boring event.
So Joe planned this trip to Puerto Villarta and it was the greatest week long party.
So there we are, finished with dinner. Awaiting dessert.
Roxanne says casually: I wrote a toast for you.
So we all grabbed our dessert spoons and held them up (instead of our drink cups)
while Roxanne read:
"Ladies and gents,
We are gathered here together to celebrate Lisa, an exceptional woman who has reached a milestone that stands testament to her grace, her strength, and her wisdom.
Here at 40 is the place where your past, present, and future converge. Right here in Mexico. Your past is a gift. Your present is a gift. And your future is yet another gift.
As you look back over the past 4 decades, in hindsight, you can see lessons learned and the person you've become.
Right here, right now, you are surrounded by just a few of those who support and love you endlessly. At 40 yrs old, a person knows what and where true beauty lies. You're always saying how beautiful things just 'exist.' "It's here the whole time just existing." That's you too. Your beautiful self is here just existing, and we all get to just sit back and enjoy YOUR beauty. I'm so glad YOU exist.
As you look to your future, may you be blessed with the eyes to see those continuing defining moments that give you purpose, joy and strength.
Turning 40 is not just an age. It's a celebration of becoming.
Cheers to this incredible woman who continues to alchemize life, break barriers, and uplift those around her. Here's to you, my love."
And then we all clinked spoons and it was the best!
After dinner we went on a digestion walk around the resort of course.
Our last night here, we looked for souvenirs at the tables around the hotel.
Go get ice cream from the buffet, find other things to eat for some reason, watch the final sunset.


I have been wanting a new ring, looking for one this whole trip, but I'm not sure exactly what style - I'll know it when I see it.
At this jewelry table, Lisa and Roxanne pick out the most perfect ring and insist I get it.
I hesitate - it doesn't fit - but the jeweler says he will fix it for me and have it ready tomorrow morning.
I give him some down pesos and he will call me tomorrow.
I am so excited, and so happy my friends know me enough to force me to just buy it! Enough hemming and hawing.
The men are bored of such nonsense.
We try and end the night watching a show, but remember how I'm old and loud things kill me? This Latin show was so so loud, it boomed in my chest and I left early before my ears started to die.
Ok, well I'm sorry to tell you the time to go home finally arrived.
Our last day, the awful in between when you are at the pool but you know you need to go pack and get on an airplane and go home.
My jeweler called me "your ring is ready!"
and made it the perfect size and I love it so so much:
One last taco at the snack bar. One last pina colada - "SENIOR! Make it virgin, por favor"
One last iguana sighting,
one last stop at a road side souvenir stand.
One last drive through the crazy streets of Puerto Villarta.
finish!